Stop Trying to Make Pub Trans Happen
So in preparing to go abroad, one of the things everyone gets excited for is traveling. Upset you’re missing the scene in Barcelona because you went with Prague? Not to worry, you’ll be here the third weekend in February and vice versa. (Sucks to be Israel though. You’re kinda stuck. Better hope from some cuties or you’re gonna need to learn some Hebrew real good, real fast.) You get stressed before you travel though. Should you be buying Sensation tickets or going to Dublin for St. Pattys? What’s the move?! News flash- there is no move. My anxiety to wait to book my travel plans in order to have them include my plethora of new friends was completely unfounded because you really just book your trips with the people you came with (maybe pick up a few along the way) or meet your friends who are abroad in Florence. (To answer the question: Sensation. I know I said there was no move, but if there were a move it would definitely be Sensation. Belgium chocolate? Sign me the fuck up.)
However, no one prepares you for the stress of planning these trips. Since when did jappy girls become capable travel agents? (Although my high school career test did tell me I would most like become a travel agent. Something to think about.) My mom has been booking all my flights, hotels, car rides to Hebrew school, dinner reservations, doctors appointments, hearing test, etc, etc, for years now so to throw me in the deep end and expect be to book 8-10 European excursions including flights, hostels (let’s be real I’m staying in 8-10 Marriots), and weekend itineraries is a little much. And the fact that we have so much trouble with it just makes me wonder how anyone just slightly stupider than I am is able to plan anything. And trust me, there are a lot of stupider girls than me abroad. Just sit in on my CEA photo class for five minutes.
These past two weekends me and my bitches finally started traveling. First thing I realized is that it’s totally unnecessary for me to have a passport because traveling between European countries is an actual joke. I’m not getting any stamps and its bullshit. Second thing I realized is that the airlines we booked are exponentially cheaper for a reason, and let me explain why. So last weekend we went to Paris and this past weekend we went to Amsterdam. Died for each, but can’t really compare. Only similarity is that I ate my way through both. Let me start of with Paris though…
It’s our first trip and we’re going to Paris so me and my friends are extremely excited. Although we are praying for our Carrie and Big moment in the most romantic city in the world, we know our highlight will most likely be the crepe crawl we do and the in depth analysis we have in comparing the different ones we eat. (“Banana and Nutella crepe seven was a little too heavy of the ‘tella, but 13 lacked bananas.”) Although it was fucking freezing and we obviously signed up for a three hour walking tour and a night time bar crawl, the actual trip was incredible. It was the flying experience that we just shit the bed with. I’m blaming it on a really really ridiculous cheap and possibly illegal airline that shall remain nameless so as to save me from lawsuits and such (although I don’t think this so called “airline” could actually afford to have a lawyer), but in reality it was probably our lack of experience in handling situations without our moms and teachers that led to this clusterfuck.
Its Thursday night and we are ready to leave for Paris and decide to be money saving students and take the train to the airport. After aimlessly running around the train station for 30 minutes looking for our sixth friend, unable to figure out where to get it from, overwhelmed by far too much luggage for a mere three days and unable to resist the urge to stop at every metro vending machine to buy an All Bran bar, we just say “Fuck it, we’re taking a cab.” No shit. The fact that we thought we could make public transportation happen is almost comical, so strop trying to make pub trans happen. It’s not going to happen. Eventually we hail a cab and make it to the airport only to so confidently tell the cab driver that it is terminal “beh” (my Spanish has gotten so good its incredible what going to a third of your Spanish classes can do for you) when really it was terminal “ceh.” Just so happens ceh is like a 10-minute walk from beh. When we finally get to ceh, my friend’s ticket just like didn’t work so she had to buy another on the spot. And when the airline said “one bag per person,” we took that to mean “bring two bags”…so we did. Only to be told that we had to pay 30 Euros to check our bag. After attempting to stuff my industrial sized backpack into my tiny carry on luggage, I finally caved and dropped the 30 to check my bag. Had to work my ass off to get three drinks bought for me after that to make up for it. But in reality the thing I was most pissed about from our terrible flying to Paris experience was that I slept through the hummus on the way there. For that, I will never forgive myself.
Traveling to Amsterdam went a lot more smoothly. Probably because we never attempted to take pub trans and just went straight for the cab. Also, we took half the clothes in order to fit them into one bag, which is why it looks like I was in Amsterdam for one day in my pictures. One outfit, two and a half days, and lots of disgusted looks from bitches who paid the money to check. However, since we didn’t have paid-for, organized activities, we did fuck some shit up along the way including but not limited to: 1. We didn’t get to have the number one pancakes at the Pancake Bakery so we had to go to the knock off pancake place, 2. The pancakes aren’t actually pancakes, they’re crepes, 3. We only had three waffles, 4. We slept through dinner…twice, 5. We didn’t think we were high until we realized we ate a falafel sandwich, stir fry, and candy all within 20 minutes, 5. We bought tickets to a canal cruise even though the canal was frozen, 6. We went to the Red Light District sober (seriously that shit can be a little scarring, so try and black it out a little but not completely…lifelong memories right there), 7. We didn’t bring home any Stroop Cookies, etc, etc.
Me and my friends will just never be the girls who have their shit together, and I’ve come to love it and accept it. We will never have a clean apartment, we will never be on time to class, we will never know the move before it’s too late, and we will never be expert travelers. But, regardless of the mishaps, I’d like to say we killed it in Paris and Amsterdam. What am I basing that on, you ask? The fact that Liam Neeson isn’t looking for any of us right now. Too soon for those stories. Like WTF?!
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